I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
