At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
