He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
