i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
