She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
