We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
