He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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