It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize