I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
