Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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