Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
