maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
