I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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