So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
