So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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