its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize