on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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