My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
