I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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