im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
