you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
