she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
