I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Terrible idea I love it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
