you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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