I need help removing her.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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