i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
3 2 1 whiskey
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize