Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
