it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
