My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
