I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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