Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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