Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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