Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
