I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
