Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
