I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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