We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
as a side note pls kill me
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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