he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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