what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
