There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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