Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
