he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
where are my eyebrows?
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