i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
