I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
