the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
