So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
