Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize