he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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