Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
