she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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