And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just pee around me
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
