fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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