Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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