I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just found puke in my bra..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
