If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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