Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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