Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
