Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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