We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
