Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm determined to sit on that face.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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