so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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