I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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