If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
