Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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