just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
