we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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