sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
