You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
