So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
