do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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