you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
