I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
