I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How does one acquire holy water?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize