I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
