FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Everyone says I win the strip club
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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