We're facebook friends in real life
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
