He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
