yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
