I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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