YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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