ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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