i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
