Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
