so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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