Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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