the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
