its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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