ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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