***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
