A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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