my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
