we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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